Archive for May, 2022

Crying every day

May 28th, 2022 No comments

The weapons, once used to injure and kill people, made into steel used for bridge and road upgrades.

I keep tissues handy all the time now.  The fleeing families of Ukraine and the brutal total destruction of peaceful free communities is breaking my heart.  The bravery of President Zelenskyy and the volunteer army of soldiers who fight against Putin’s killers/murderers is astounding.  But, inch by inch, person by person the evil reign of Russia pushes on and refuses to negotiate with Ukraine.   He does the work of the devil. We are so fortunate to have President Biden ruling our country now, because who knows what DJT would make Ukraine do for the help they need. Maybe he would have just cut them off to help his friend in Russia? Putin might be naming streets for DJT.

We have a similar, but ongoing war here in the United States of America.  The only difference is that we don’t have an efficient army to fight back and the attacks are scattered both by time and place. There are no rules of engagement or prevention, because  Congress is paralyzed by Republicans.  Yet the Rs consider themselves effective leaders?   And the victims in our own scattered war are defenseless babies/children in schools and everyday people shopping in a store or worshipers in a house of God.  The evil enablers of the people shooting up those innocent precious souls are the Republicans in both the US Congress and in State legislatures.  Gun money flows into their pockets and buys their faithful preaching of the gun lobby doctrine.  The NRA is guilty of murder by default. The Republican party paves the way while the NRA  pushes and promotes the sale of automatic rifles and guns that are made to kill lots of people in a very short time. So, the offensive army can be small, usually just one person.  The war guns are manufactured for no other reason than that….making tons of money and mowing down many people in just seconds.  Nobody buys a gun like that to shoot squirrels or deer.   Gun manufacturer stocks went up after those precious babies and beloved community members were murdered in Uvalde, Texas and Buffalo NY.  It seems that these mass murders are great advertising and business for the guns, and isn’t that the biggest horror of all?

I don’t even want to repeat the absolute BS that the Republican party (AKA the NRA) spews about why these mass shootings happen.  A few days ago, Texas Governor Gregg Abbott pronounced  “We have a major mental health problem”.  Oh, I agree, but that is not why monsters are shooting up kids.  The shooters are schemers and planners and monsters.  They grew up with hate in their hearts, and a propensity toward violence, but they didn’t just snap.  They planned.  Some were groomed by hateful parents.  They couldn’t wait to be legal age to buy that gun, and did just that.  Or else, Mommy and Daddy bought a gun for them for a birthday or Christmas present. OH BOY a shiny new AR 15.  They probably had their picture taken with it, perhaps for next years Christmas card!  And of course this promotes more gun sales…free advertising for the NRA and gun manufacturers.  Repeating the NRA rhetoric about mental illness is just a pathetic diversion from selling guns of mass destruction.

Most mentally ill people to not scheme and plan their breakdowns.  And what are Republican governors like Abbott doing about mental health anyway?  They are doing about as much for MH as they are about gun control…nothing.

The problem is the evil cowardly schemers and their ability to purchase a gun that should not be available to anyone, except law enforcement or military personnel.  No kid or any everyday citizen needs an automatic weapon of any kind.  And YES, I do believe that they should all be confiscated and melted down to useless metal…………………and they should never be available to sell to anyone. Guns like that should be issued by superiors in law enforcement and military.

The second amendment always comes up.  As we all know, it was written in 1776, when the only guns/muskets were single load and had to be reloaded every time a person shot it.  It took long enough that anyone that was being threatened with that gun could escape!  But, the NRA and the GOP hang on to those old words as their God given RIGHTS to bear arms….ANY arms….AR 15 ARMS.  BULL.  It is time to rewrite the second amendment..throw out the first draft. Write it for modern times.  If the shooter in Uvalde had a musket, most if not all of those kids could have escaped.

While 21 families and an entire community prepare for the funerals of their massacred precious babies and teachers, the evil NRA is having a party in Houston, TX this weekend.  The most evil of all, Donald J Trump loudly and proudly had the nerve to blame the killings on mental illness, but of course we know his own issues with mental health, and his love of money. The NRA will give him lots of money for repeating their words.  And Ted Cruz…so, they got double losers to speak at their party.   Greg Abbott played both sides in this event (to respect the grieving)…he stayed home, but he did a video to be shown to the gun party revelers.  That way he can be perceived as someone who actually cares about the Uvalde families, but also will still get money from the NRA and their campaign to make every man woman and child in this country a gun owner.

My dream was that about 10,000 demonstrators would somehow block both car traffic and people traffic going into and out of that convention, and shut them down.

We have all heard the repetitive spewing of gun rights goons….”The only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun”.  We watched in horror many good guys with guns outside the Robb elementary school.  While those good guys with guns stood outside, freaking out, being cowards, and planning their “strategy” for almost a full hour….the perp shot over 300 rounds into teachers, children and others.  21 died, and more are in hospitals struggling to survive.  The good guy who was supposed to be at the door to block anyone from entering was absent.  Some unarmed parents physically took on the good guys with the guns because they would NOT go into the school…..THEY fought to go in without a gun to save their kids.  So, there you go…the whole “good guy with a gun” theory is blown right out of the water.  And we all watched when Governor Abbott twisted the truth about those good guys with guns, and never mentioned that the shooter should never have had access to one. (If the good guys with guns didn’t have the proper protective equipment, I will take back my coward comment)

We all have to act.  We must badger the living bejesus out of our Senators and Representatives, write and call them.  Speak up online and in person if possible.  Our own worst enemy and terrorists are inside the borders of the country.  It is the NRA and the former GOP (grand old party)…the Republicans, and the opportunists that buy and use guns on innocent people.

It’s time to learn from others how to stop the mass shootings in our country.



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Super Women

May 5th, 2022 5 comments



I have never felt more powerful than when I gave birth the first time.  I couldn’t sleep for days, and it was the endorphins, not a colicky baby that kept me awake, at least for first several days.    I was super woman.  I had conceived and grown a full term baby boy inside my body.  There is nothing in this world more powerful than that.

My son was born 1 year and 2 days after I was married. We just celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary and my son’s 49th birthday.  He was round and perfect and he looked just like my father in law.  My husband and I waited for him with open arms and he was loved by us and all of our extended family.

At 23, I was ready for my first baby.  I had graduated from nursing school, had my career and found the love of my life.  We were on our way as a family.  We struggled and worked and did just fine.

Fast forward 17 years from 1973.   I had 2 sons by then, so I was superwoman twice.  I have been doubly empowered by the birth of my sons.  There were no pregnancies after that until after I turned 40 years old.  I was working as an ER nurse and Mike was working as a US Customs inspector.  We had a good life and the news of this pregnancy floored us!   But, we both welcomed the chance to be parents one more time.  In fact, we were ecstatic!   My mother had a baby at 42, and he brought great joy to their lives.  Just maybe this was our chance to do the same.

When I was about 3 months along and after I had announced this pregnancy to family, I began to bleed, just a little bit.  It was Christmas time and so I kept an eye on it for a few days to get through the holidays.  Then I got checked.  My OBS couldn’t hear a heartbeat and she did an ultrasound.  The fetus was not normal.  There was no question that this pregnancy was over and I needed a therapeutic abortion/aka D&C.  This decision was made between my doctor and me, and my husband was advised after the decision was made.  He and I were absolutely devastated by this turn of events, and he fully supported whatever I decided and did.   It broke my heart and stole away all our plans of a new baby.  As it turned out, my pregnancy was abnormal from the beginning.  I had an hidatidiform molar pregnancy.  This is when a fertilized egg develops abnormally and sometimes grows too rapidly, developing teeth, hair etc, but never forming a normal baby.  If left growing to term, it can affect the health of the Mom, or even cause cancer.  No matter the details.  This was a deeply painful and personal experience, and I did not need input from a man or politicians or intrusive laws and  regulations.  This was between my doctor and me.  Aside from my husband, this was nobody’s business except mine.

Every single pregnancy is extremely personal and powerful.  Woman Power makes us perfect for making our own decisions.  We have this incredible ability to sustain and grow cells inside us to form a full size baby, and we also have the brain power to decide if that is what we want or if the timing is right or even if it is safe.  The circumstances around a pregnancy can make a huge difference to a woman.  Questions a woman may ask herself are….. Will this pregnancy add to my life and love, or will it destroy anything I have planned for my future?  Will it kill me?  Will it be like the brute who raped me?  Will I be able to support and love it?  Will I be rejected by my family if I have it?  Will the father have anything more to do with me?  Will I be able to work?  Will the medication I have been on affect it? Am I able to care for this very deformed baby?  Am I too young to give birth? (in the case of children being impregnated, they need professional counseling and parental or guardian guidance).  The reasons to continue a pregnancy or terminate it are innumerable, and endless.  And it is different for every woman and her circumstances.

When I heard the recent news of the SCOTUS plans to revoke Roe vs Wade, I nearly exploded.  I remember when Catholics were forbidden birth control and I saw the results.  Women having their 12th or 15th baby came to our Catholic Hospital delivery room in Boston, where I trained as a nurse in the late 60s.  They were exhausted, stretched out and bored with the process of delivery.  Some were irate, and once medicated their “real” feelings came out in words that no good Catholic woman would ever have used if not medicated.  These were not terms of endearment, or Catholic prayers.  The Church didn’t even allow tubal ligation. If a woman wanted that she had to go elsewhere and the husband had to sign papers “allowing” it.  I am getting triggered just remembering all this and how incredibly archaic and sexist it is.

Believe it or not, I hate abortions too.  I can’t think of a single woman who would say she likes or loves abortions.  They are painful both physically and emotionally.   But, we do embrace our own power over reproduction decisions and abortion is part of that.

If we want to end abortions, we MUST take care of what causes them.  MEN for one thing…..the people who too often do the duty and walk away.  Make the men equally responsible, because it takes two parts to make a zygot…the precursor to an embryo.  Also, make insurances pay for all forms birth control….condoms, IUDs, Birth Control pills, tubal ligations, vasectomies, or anything else a woman wants or needs to stop pregnancies from happening in the first place.  Fund day care (either employers of the government) because it easily takes TWO to support a baby these days…and many single Moms can’t afford daycare.  Fund pre school in every State.  Women know how to live their best lives after making their own decisions, so stop allowing politicians to make those decisions for them.  Provide sex education early and often.  Abstinence is a lovely lofty concept(ion) idea, but it is as unrealistic as Santa Claus. Human hormones win out.  Even with all of these precautions, we still need safe abortions accessible for all women, not just the rich.  No precaution against pregnancy is 100% effective.

And, don’t ever assume YOU know what is best for any woman. As an RN, I have advised a number of women on their options, but I have never presumed I know what is best for them.  Again, it is their business, not mine or yours or any politicians.   Unless she has asked for your thoughts, keep your gigantic traps shut and step back, except to support her choice.  A woman knows what is best for herself, her body, her family and her future.  It is none of your damned business, it is hers.

Half of US citizens are women. We have a ton of power.  It is time to get loud.  Don’t back down on this, because it is just one of many dominoes in the line.